Dolls of a Feather and Little Miss Ironic

Like most conservative asian girls (with a game plan), I subscribe to the outer-nun-inner-slut school of thought. Which basically means: I can’t go to your place but let’s give you a blowjob while you drive. I can’t put on a cat-suit for xmas but oops, my skirt fell off. I can’t text you first because a phone set on vibrator mode has other uses. You can’t cum all over my face, no. you.absolutely.can’t…. but oh, you just did, and boy, does it taste good... Debbie does Dallas? is that a travel documentary? Oh, by the way, I won the spelling bee spelling bukkake backwards.

I can’t give you my mobile number, but please… take down my email.

You get my drift. It’s the Bi-Polar (dis)Order of the IT girl.

The physical-angel-mental-wildcat act, playing the traditional-on-the-outside, tigress-on-the-inside girl…. the girl most men would have a soft-spot and a hard-on for…. Little Miss Ironic. Little Miss Me.

It’s these girls that give them men some sort of validation. At least they know, getting into her pants, or even better, her mind, requires some scheming, some charisma and some magic. After all, it’s the thrill of the chase. If I was the going to be the prize, my willpower is my fortress.

Now now… which of the three dolls managed to tear down that fort? Was it hard-core strategizing, or a stroke of luck?

So Little Miss Ironic, i.e. Little Miss Me, gave out 3 cards. And I got 3 emails.

Mail #1 (cut and pasted and unadulterated, for your reading pleasure): Post-War Doll

Hi xx,

I really enjoyed talking to you last friday night, and I really would like, if we could have the chance to meet for lunch or dinner. As you told me, I would have to send my CV / application first, so here it is :-) :

Objective:
I felt good and comfortable talking to you, and I would like to get to know you and to find out, if you are as sweet as you look.

When I met you:
friday night 27th Jan 06

Please find below my data:

Name:
You know

Address:
Im an Eastcoast boy and i love it there, so normally i stay in a tent on the beach

Place of birth:
The wrong place .... i love to live in the tropics

Race:
Chinese angmo

Date of birth:
10 years earlier than i would prefer

Contact number:
+65 9XX XXXX

Nationality:
Danish by passport - rojak by heart (I have stayed in Singapore 7 years now)

Carrer:

........ can i skip this one !? ...... ok i guess not

-1 marriage which had to come to an end 2 years ago
-2 wonderfull children who lives in Denmark with their mother / my ex-wife
-1 ex-girlfriend

Education:
1965 until now: -school of life

Computer skills:
They call me "The Wizzard"

Languages:
Danish, English, German, a bit of french ... I can also talk non-sense, and after 5 bottles of Stella Artois im convinced i can speak fluently Mandarin

Skills:
-Very very loving guy
-Sincere
-Caring
-Responsible

Activities:
I love outdoor activities but its nice to relax at home sometimes ........ "its boring to be bored and its fun to have fun"

References:
If you wanna hear the bad things: - call my ex-wife
If you wanna hear the good things: - call my mother


PLEEEEEEASE! GIVE ME A CHANCE TO MEET YOU !

It put a smile on my face. But that’s because he spelt “career” wrongly, and my lord! He really sent an application! Now, that’s a first. Flew right into my venus flytrap. 2 stars. Minus one for the age and spelling mistake tho.

Mail #2: The Baby Doll

Hey, you're everywhere! - The pub on Friday, Orchard Road, a website, and now pages of a magazine?!?! it all adds up. You’re the girl my mum warned me about before I set foot on this island. I’m surprised I haven't spotted you in my office building, but I'll keep an eye out for you in Angola next week.

So had a good night on Friday?


Attempt at being funny not gone unnoticed. And a not-so-subtle mention of his activity for next week as conversation stirrer. 3 stars. Haha… and with the email, he attached a picture of me he grabbed from a website and scanned picture of me he grabbed from a magazine. It’s official. he googled me. Plus one for effort.

Mail #3: The Cocky Doll

Hi,

I think you’re very sexy. Do you like big cocks?

*major eyeball-rolling*

5 points. For being short, sharp and spot on.

and Little Miss Ironic, replies them all, in bipolar (dis)orderliness.